


I Never Told You What I Do For A Living

by MsAndrogyny



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1930s, Crossdressing, Crossdressing as a lifestyle, Italian Mafia, M/M, Mild violence (not between OTP), POV: Third Person (limited), Sort of prostitution (but not really)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-16
Updated: 2015-06-16
Packaged: 2018-04-04 17:52:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4147197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsAndrogyny/pseuds/MsAndrogyny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p> <br/><em>The door was closed, so Frank raised a hand and knocked. It wasn’t long before it opened and revealed another dark-haired beauty. A shock went through his body when he saw her – she was everything Frank wished for in a woman. Black hair – longer than the other beauty’s – beautiful lips, soft jawline, delicate nose and hazel eyes to drown in, beautiful curves, long legs and pale skin – she was to die for.</em></p><p>
  <em>Soft music sounded from the small room and Frank quickly peered inside to find a chair in the middle of the room, a dresser with a phonograph – playing piano music of some kind – and a single bed pushed against the wall. Anticipation spread through Frank’s body. If there was a bed…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>His eyes dragged back to the beauty in front of him and he smiled at her. “Hi, doll.” </em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Never Told You What I Do For A Living

**Author's Note:**

  * For [S_C](https://archiveofourown.org/users/S_C/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Shook-Up World](https://archiveofourown.org/works/242231) by [wordslinging](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordslinging/pseuds/wordslinging). 
  * Inspired by [On the Getaway Mile](https://archiveofourown.org/works/242238) by [wordslinging](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordslinging/pseuds/wordslinging). 



> This is the second fic I've ever finished and the first I've felt confident enough about to post.
> 
> I apologize for any mistakes made concerning the time period. I know next to nothing about it, but tried to research it all. I hope I did enough. 
> 
> This is unbetaed and all mistakes are my own. 
> 
> Please do not send this to anyone affiliated with My Chemical Romance.
> 
> If you want to post this anywhere else or translate it, please ask me first and credit me as the original author (and send me a link to your translation). Feel free to ask any other questions you might have.
> 
>  **Disclaimer:** This is fake - just a figment of my own imagination. I do not know or own the characters, just the story.

Frank stepped into the smoky bar that had drawn his attention while he was walking past. He was certain it was more than your usual bar, if the gentleman leaving when Frank passed was anything to go by. The man had pressed his hat a little tighter on his head and ducked his head when Frank looked at him, before rushing down the street. 

If Frank’s assumptions were correct, this bar would have a lovely backroom with pretty girls and if there was something he could use, it was a dance from some pretty dame. He had had a couple of drinks over at Tony’s place and the thought of spending yet another night alone in bed, drunk, was enough to step foot into the bar. Even if it wasn’t that kind of establishment, Frank could still go and look for a willing beauty to come home with him. 

He was met by a band playing _The Man I Love_ – the dame behind the microphone all curves and lipstick and gloves and long dress. Her black-rimmed eyes were closed as her red lips moved around the words to the song. Her short blond hair was wavy and looked like something Frank would enjoy messing up. 

He grinned as he sat down on a stool at the bar and looked around the rest of the place. It was decorated in dark wood, a couple of tables strewn across the small space and only a few – male – occupants on the chairs. There was a thick cloud of smoke as the men smoked cigars and cigarettes and Frank nearly missed the back door in the corner opposite him. He’d have to look into that some more. First a drink, though. 

“What can I get you?” The big man behind the bar asked. He looked a little menacing, but Frank supposed you had to be to work the bar in this neighborhood.

“Jack Daniels.” Frank spoke, looking the man over for a second. He had short, brown hair and though he looked a little on the heavy side, if you looked past his puffiness you could see the muscles beneath his skin. Frank cocked his head a little when he noticed the tattoos on the man’s right forearm. He wore them with pride – not something Frank was used to. He was definitely in the right place then.

“Any shows going on tonight?” Frank asked the bartender softly and the man halted his movements momentarily, looking at Frank intensely, before continuing to get him that drink.

“Who’s asking?” 

“A paying customer.” Frank smiled and slipped the man a ten-dollar bill. The man, in turn, looked at the crumpled bill – the look on his face somewhat shocked – before his eyes shot back up to Frank’s face. Frank just kept smiling, even when realization dawned onto the bartender’s face. 

Not many people in this neighborhood would even have ten-dollar bills in their wallets, let alone slide them over the bar to some random bartender. You’d have to be in a particular line of work to be able to throw around that kind of money. 

The man’s eyes shot to the backroom door momentarily before nodding once and taking Frank’s crumpled bill. He stepped away from the bar and Frank quickly downed his drink before following the man over to the door in the far corner. 

The man glanced over his shoulder to the couple of other men in the bar, but they were paying them no attention, so he opened the door to reveal a narrow hallway. He merely pointed down the hallway and stepped back into the bar, closing the door behind him. 

The music sounded muffled from this side of the door and there was no smoke lingering here like there had been in the bar. Frank felt a little slighted. For ten dollars he had expected a little more service, but perhaps that was too much to ask for in this neighborhood.

He continued his way down the hallway until he stepped into a bigger room again, looking around. The floor was the same dark wood as the bar’s, but the walls were decorated with dark red wallpaper. A man was sitting behind a desk, reading a newspaper and looked up when Frank entered. He looked Frank over and held out his hand. 

“Five bucks.” He spoke.

“I already gave your bartender ten.” 

The man eyed him again and put down his newspaper, leaning over the desk some more. “Five bucks.” 

“Look, I said–” Frank started mad, but the words got stuck in his throat when a door opened and a beautiful creature of the night stepped out – dark wavy hair, smudged lipstick, long legs and high heels, the strap of her dress falling off her shoulder.

He hadn’t realized it was this kind of backroom. He had expected a dance while he touched himself – he didn’t think kissing was included, but looking at the lipstick-smudged lips of the man stepping out of the room it clearly was. Frank wondered how much more would be allowed and he quickly pulled out another crumpled bill. He pushed the fiver into the out-held hand and the man behind the desk smirked. 

“Down that way, second door on your right.” The man pointed before putting away the money. Frank looked at the beauty again, but she was paying him no heed – instead trailing fingertips over the other man’s jaw before guiding him to the hallway where Frank had just come from. 

The man made eye-contact with Frank momentarily before ducking his head and rushing past – just like the man on the streets. Frank didn’t see why this one ducked his head, though. Frank was obviously here for the same reason, so that should count for something, right?

He was quite certain his face wasn’t very well known around these parts, so that couldn’t be the man’s reason for ducking his head. Frank could only conclude it was shame – something Frank felt was unnecessary over something so trivial. They all had urges, didn’t they? 

Maybe the man was afraid Frank was an undercover cop or something. He smiled at the thought – he was pretty much the opposite. He sniggered a little and shook his head, but then his thoughts were interrupted by the man behind the desk.

“Hey, you. You gonna move or what?” He was looking at Frank over his paper. Frank didn’t think the man was worthy a response, so he just stepped into the direction the man had pointed him in a moment ago.

Second door to the right…

It was closed, so Frank raised a hand and knocked. It wasn’t long before the door opened and revealed another dark-haired beauty. A shock went through his body when he saw her – she was everything Frank wished for in a woman. Black hair – longer than the other beauty’s – beautiful lips, soft jawline, delicate nose and hazel eyes to drown in, beautiful curves, long legs and pale skin – she was to die for.

Soft music sounded from the small room and Frank quickly peered inside to find a chair in the middle of the room, a dresser with a phonograph – playing piano music of some kind – and a single bed pushed against the wall. Anticipation spread through Frank’s body. If there was a bed…

His eyes dragged back to the beauty in front of him and he smiled at her. “Hi, doll.” 

She gave him a tentative smile back before turning and strolling back into the room. Frank followed her – shutting the door as he did so. He noticed the coat rack and took off his hat and overcoat – hung them on the rack – before running a hand through his hair. 

“What’s your name, doll?” He asked the girl who had gone over to the chair to lean her hands on the back of it.

“Elaine.” She gave him a cheeky smile and beckoned him to come closer. He grinned back at her and took two steps. He was standing right in front of her, one hand on her hip, as he leaned in, but she pulled away from him. 

He grinned – he didn’t mind a chase. She pushed him down on the chair gently and started moving her body to the music sensually. “All in time.” She told him huskily and he had to drag another hand through his hair. 

“I’m Frank.” He managed as his eyes roamed over the body moving in front of him. Her shoulder moved and the strap slid down. She didn’t bother putting it back up and Frank wondered if she’d dropped it on purpose. 

His eyes moved down over her body – her waist and hips, over her thighs and down her legs. Shit, he wanted to sink his teeth into all that pale skin. He realized a little belated that he had reached out to touch his fingers to the stockings and halted half-way – suddenly wondering if he’d be allowed.

His eyes shot up to the dame’s, silently asking for permission. She showed him that sly smile again and took hold of his hand – guiding it to her waist. When his fingertips touched the fabric she kept holding on, pushing his hand down over her hip and then onto the stockings.

He let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding when she slowly let go of his hand and allowed him to move it on his own. His fingertips moved down first – over thigh and calf – before moving up slowly again. He reached under the hem of her dress and let his fingers roam over the soft skin just above the stockings. 

He bit his bottom lip and risked a glance upwards. His pants tightened slightly when he saw the look in her eyes. She was still moving her body, though slower than before, and she was looking down at Frank with something close to hunger. 

He faintly wondered if it was part of the show, but when his fingers slid a little higher and her pupils dilated he knew at least some of it was true. His body moved on its own accord – pushing up off the chair, but his hand staying where it was – and he angled his face up, his lips nearly brushing Elaine’s. He halted in a silent request and was rewarded with soft pressure on his own lips. 

He sighed and brought his free hand up to cup Elaine’s face. Yes, this was what he needed. He deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue into warm wetness and Elaine returned it immediately. He suddenly wondered how often a day she did this. He nearly pulled back to ask her, but her fingertips were suddenly over the bulge in his pants and he gasped before pushing into the touch. 

Her hand took a slightly stronger grip and he couldn’t help but buck his hips forward – pressing himself into her hand some more. He gasped and breathed into her mouth and – _shit_ – he needed more. More friction, more touching, more everything. He pressed his thigh in-between hers and froze. 

He broke the kiss in shock at the hard pressure against his thigh and when he looked up to Elaine’s face he saw it – the faintest hint of facial hair and the, small but there, Adam’s apple bobbing as the other swallowed hard. She – no, _he_ – looked down onto Frank’s face with half-lidded eyes and smudged lipstick and Frank reacted instinctively.

He pushed Elaine away from him and stepped away quickly, earning a surprised look. 

“What’s wrong? Did I do something?” 

Shit, it was even noticeable in the voice. He looked over the dame – _man_ – in front of him. She – _he_ dammit – was looking disheveled, the strap still down her shoulder, makeup smudged, lips swollen, hair messed up. Frank hadn’t even noticed he’d reached into it during their kiss.

His cock sprang to life again at the reminder. Jesus, but if it hadn’t been hot. Elaine stepped forward and reached out, touching his shoulder tentatively. 

“Are you okay?” 

“You’re a man.” Frank breathed out, wiping his lips. Her hand drew back slightly and a pained expression shot over her face before the sly smile was back.

“Poor boy.” She laughed haughtily. “Didn’t know what you were getting yourself into, huh? Us girls, we’re all–” She waved her hand as if to say ‘you know’. “Doesn’t mean it has to be any less enjoyable.” She smiled down at him and stepped closer again. “Just close your eyes and you’ll never know the difference.”

“But I _do_ know.” Frank argued, stepping back again – his back up against the wall now. Elaine just followed him.

“Frankie.” Breath ghosted over his ear and he couldn’t stop the shiver. “There’s nothing wrong with enjoying yourself a little.” Lips pressed right below his ear and his eyes fluttered closed. Shit, he shouldn’t be getting hard again. The dame wasn’t a dame at all. She was a man – a real life man with a penis and that was just–

His eyes shot open when the word he’d expected to follow that sentence was pushed aside and replaced by ‘hot’. The hand cupped him through his pants again and he couldn’t stop the groan from leaving his throat as his eyes closed. 

“Just let me take care of you.” Elaine’s fingers moved to his belt and soon enough he was freed from his restrictions and cool air hit his lower body. Lips pressed against his jaw before Elaine dropped to her knees, wrapping her lips around his cock – swallowing him down in one swift movement – and Frank slumped against the wall, looking down at this beautiful girl who wasn’t a girl at all and admiring the way her lips stretched around his hard flesh.

He couldn’t stop thinking of her as a woman, though. Not with the hair and the makeup and the dress and– _Jesus_ , she was swirling her tongue over the head before swallowing him again. 

“Shit, Elaine.” He groaned, not knowing what else to call her. He put his hand in her hair and tugged slightly, so she’d release him. She looked up at him a little disconcerted, but he was already hauling her back up before pressing his lips firmly against hers. 

When she pressed her body flush against his – an erection pressing into his thigh again – his hand moved into her hair and he took a strong grip without pulling too hard and he started moving his hips rhythmically. 

It wasn’t the fact she was a man, not really – he’d been attracted to men before, after all. It was more the fact that this kind of hookup could get you killed if you weren’t careful and in his line of business he got enough death threats as it were. He didn’t need any more – and he certainly didn’t need his family turning on him and leaving him without protection. 

None of that mattered right now, though, with Elaine returning the thrusts and rubbing herself against Frank while breathing over his face and moaning into his mouth. She suddenly grabbed onto his ass and pulled him closer while a beautiful whimper left her throat and her body shook against his. He held her closer, just in case her knees would give out, and pressed a kiss to her temple. 

One shaky hand left his ass and she reached down to take Frank’s still unclothed cock in her hand – dragging her hand over it in rough, practiced strokes and reducing Frank to a puddle of incoherent thoughts – a string of curse words slipping through his lips. 

“Fuck, I’m gonna–” He let out a long groan when his muscles tensed and his orgasm ripped through him – tearing him apart from the inside out. He faintly registered Elaine’s hand caressing the skin of his abdomen as he came down and he pressed another kiss to her temple. 

“See? That was nice, wasn’t it?” She pressed a kiss in his neck and he hummed in agreement. 

“More than nice, doll.” He sighed and moved his hand through her hair again. She pulled back slightly and smiled at his face – her makeup and hair a right mess.

“I’m glad.” She spoke before pressing her lips on his. It was obviously meant to be a peck on the lips, but Frank cupped her face with both hands, holding her in place, and deepened the kiss – pushing his tongue past her lips. She let out a sigh and melted into the slow kiss. 

“I really needed that.” Frank admitted when the kiss ended.

“Glad I could help.” Elaine pressed another peck on his lips. “But I’m afraid this is the part where I tell you your time’s up.”

Frank’s face soured at the reminder, but he pressed his lips onto Elaine’s forehead nonetheless. She stepped away from him and over to the coat rack as he did up his pants again. She helped him get into the overcoat and handed him his hat, which he didn’t put on just yet. “Thanks, doll.” 

Elaine flashed him an almost shy smile and she quickly wiped at Frank’s lips – she must have left lipstick all over him during that obscene kiss. Frank already twitched slightly at the memory. 

“Take care.” He smiled and put his hat on.

“You too, Frank.” She told him and opened the door for him. He leaned in for one more kiss on her cheek before leaving the place. Just because he’d paid for it, didn’t mean he should act any less of a gentleman. 

He made his way through the hallway and bar – nodding at the bartender – and out the door, taking a deep breath of fresh air before reaching into his pocket for a cigarette. As much fun as that had been, it could never ever happen again. He’d controlled his urges for years now – he could do so a little longer.

Certainly was a pity Elaine wasn’t a real woman. Then again, he kind of liked the thrill of feeling that hardness against his thigh while everything else was so soft beneath his fingers. He shouldn’t have liked it. It was illegal and if his family found out–

He shook his head and sighed before he took another drag from his cigarette and started walking. They wouldn’t find out. He’d walk away from this place and never return, and no one had to know he’d enjoyed getting off with a man dressed as a woman.

  


**

  


Shit.

Gerard looked at himself in the mirror over the sink he was grabbing onto in the shared bathroom. He looked a right mess – lipstick everywhere and his hair no longer wavy. 

They weren’t supposed to get clients off. The men could kiss and touch them for a while, but the girls weren’t actually allowed to put their hands on the clients. This thing was dangerous enough without being an actual bordello. 

But he hadn’t been able to stop himself this time. Usually the men walking through his door were older and ashamed to be there, but this man – Frank – he was something different. He had this confidence and suaveness about him, and even when he’d backed off – when he’d realized Gerard was less of a woman than he’d thought at first – even then he’d retained his poise. 

He’d stepped away and bluntly stated the truth – which, admittedly, hurt a little – but he hadn’t run off like a coward and he hadn’t slumped or even intimidated Gerard. It’s why Gerard had pressed on – why he had dropped to his knees. 

Just thinking back caused blood to flow downwards. Frank had been like wax in his hands. Sure, he’d stopped Gerard from sucking him off properly, but what had followed might have been even better. The act itself had been so dirty – rubbing against each other’s thighs – but the way Frank had held and kissed him afterwards was something else entirely. 

He’d been such a gentleman that Gerard couldn’t help but hope the man would be back. 

“Hair-grabber, huh?” A soft voice sounded and Gerard looked up at Lucille’s smirk. 

“Yeah.” Gerard said with a sheepish smile and finally started to put himself back together. Lucille shot him another smile before disappearing into one of the stalls in the bathroom. Gerard sighed at his reflection and told himself sternly not to expect Frank to come back. He’d only be disappointed if he thought it might happen and then it didn’t. 

Plastering on the fake sly smile, he turned and left the bathroom to return to his own room – ready for his next client. 

  


**

  


When Frank, as expected, still hadn’t returned after nine days, Gerard accepted it as a given. He went on with his life as he knew it and forgot about the gentlemanly Frank for a whole of two days. That’s when Gerard opened his door to find Frank standing there and he couldn’t stop his stomach from doing a flip, but when he looked at Frank’s face a little better Gerard noticed something was off. 

He looked tired – really tired – and gave Gerard a weak smile. “Hi, doll.” 

“Frank.” Gerard gave him a fake seductive smile and stepped aside to let him enter. “Didn’t think I’d see you again.”

“Me neither.” Frank admitted, rubbing his face before taking off his overcoat and hat. When they were safely on the coat rack, Gerard guided Frank to the bed instead of the chair – he looked like he needed a lie-down. 

“Well, I’m glad you’re here.” Gerard said, and it wasn’t even a lie. “Now you just sit down. I’ll give you a back rub, okay?” 

Frank nodded tiredly and sat down on the edge of the bed. Gerard immediately fitted himself behind Frank and reached out to massage the knots out of his shoulders. Frank moaned in delight, his eyes slipping closed and his head hanging forward.

“Now tell me what’s on your mind.” 

“I can’t.” Frank muttered. 

“Sure you can.” Gerard pressed a soft kiss below Frank’s ear and didn’t miss the man’s shiver. 

“I really can’t, Elaine.” Frank pressed on. “Even if I wanted to, I–” He broke off and the tension in his back worsened.

“Hey, hey it’s okay. You don’t have to tell me. I just thought you might want to.” 

“I do.” Frank admitted. “But if I did–” He opened his eyes and turned his face to smile at Gerard ruefully. “Let’s just say it wouldn’t end well.” 

“I understand.” Gerard nodded, even though he didn’t understand at all. 

“Just– distract me, will you?” 

“Of course.” Gerard let his breath ghost over Frank’s neck and the man leaned back into him. His hands left Frank’s shoulders and reached around instead. He pressed his left hand to Frank’s chest as the other reached down to his belt – not wasting any time. 

He shouldn’t be doing this. If he did and Vito found out he’d be in trouble. He’d seen the girls who’d defied Vito and he’d rather keep his body clear of cuts and bruises and broken bones. But Frank looked like he _really_ needed it right now and if he was honest with himself, Gerard really wanted to do it. 

He pressed a soft kiss to Frank’s neck as his hand sneaked into the briefs and his hand closed around hot flesh. Frank instantly relaxed beneath him and leaned back against Gerard’s chest as he started moving his hand – first slowly and gently, but when Frank had grown fully hard, Gerard’s movements sped up. 

“So good, doll.” Frank breathed, the back of his head on Gerard’s shoulder and his eyes closed as he reached up with one hand and pushed it into Gerard’s hair. Gerard, in return, pressed open-mouthed kisses on Frank’s neck, flicking his tongue over the skin. 

“Shit…” Left Frank’s throat and he turned his face. “Kiss me.” 

Gerard took his lips away from Frank’s neck, only to press them on the other man’s lips. Frank’s hand tightened in Gerard’s hair as he pushed his tongue past his lips and Gerard indulged willingly. The man sure could kiss. 

They spent a couple of minutes like that, kissing heatedly while Gerard jerked Frank rather roughly – he seemed to prefer it that way – until Frank wrenched his lips away from Gerard’s.

“So close,” He breathed and pressed his lips back onto Gerard’s for a quick peck, before his jaw dropped and ecstasy flooded onto his face. Gerard bit his bottom lip as the man twitched in his hand and came with a soft groan – the hand in Gerard’s hair tightening almost painfully. 

“Shit,” Frank breathed again and he slumped against Gerard’s chest, his grip finally loosening. When he regained his breath Frank turned his upper body slightly and he pressed his lips onto Gerard’s again. Gerard joined willingly, but when he felt Frank’s hand cup him through his dress, he broke the kiss.

“Frank, you don’t have to–” His sentence was cut short by Frank’s lips on his, before the man slid off the bed and between Gerard’s knees. One hand ended up on Gerard’s thigh, while the other caressed his calf and the man’s stare was fixed on Gerard’s crotch. The hand on his thigh moved up slightly and Frank glanced up at Gerard’s face.

“Can I…?” He looked so beautiful right now – sweaty locks of dark hair against his forehead, his lips red from the lipstick Gerard had left behind and a look in his eyes that bordered on begging. Gerard bit his bottom lip, but nodded. Frank’s gaze fell on his crotch again and the man started to push up the dress. Gerard momentarily lifted his ass from the bed, so Frank could slide the fabric over his hips and then his hands froze.

“Jesus,” He choked and Gerard looked down to find Frank staring at the silk undergarment he was wearing. Hands gripped at Gerard’s hips and Frank leaned in to nip gently at the exposed skin just above Gerard’s stockings. Hands slid up – lifting the dress even more, until the waistline of Gerard’s tap pants was visible. Franks thumbs ran over the smooth material before his hand dropped down into Gerard’s lap – fingertips caressing the outline of Gerard’s semi-hard cock. It twitched under the attention and then again when Gerard took in Frank’s half-lidded gaze. The man was gone – in another world right now. 

The fingertips of Frank’s other hand slipped into the tap pants and he pushed them down slightly before catching himself and glancing up at Gerard, who immediately nodded his consent. Frank’s eyes glazed over again and he started pushing down the lingerie – Gerard lifted his hips once more – revealing the garter belt underneath and Frank choked another moan. He pushed even closer – his stomach against the bed and his upper body pushing Gerard’s legs open some more.

“Oh shit, _fuck_ , I– I need–”

Apparently showing Gerard was easier than telling him, because Frank leaned forward then and licked a long stripe over the underside of Gerard’s cock. Gerard gasped and resisted the urge to close his eyes – the sight was too good to miss. 

Frank took hold of the base, then, before wrapping his lips around the head and sinking down onto Gerard. Frank hummed when he pulled back, sending vibrations through Gerard. It wasn’t the best blowjob he’d ever gotten, but Frank’s determination made up for his lack of experience. 

“Your tongue.” Gerard managed to breathe. “Use your tongue.” 

Frank instantly pressed his tongue flat against the underside of Gerard’s cock while still bobbing his head.

“And your hand.” Gerard groaned. Frank was still holding onto the base, but he wasn’t moving it – not even squeezing. As soon as Gerard told him to, though, Frank started moving his hand to the same rhythm as his head, only missing a beat a few times. 

“Yeah, that’s it, Frank.” Gerard breathed and pushed his hand into Frank’s hair. The man hummed around him again – earning a gasp from Gerard and he couldn’t help but twitch his hips forward a little. Frank moved up then and swirled his tongue around the head of Gerard’s cock.

“Fuck,” Gerard moaned and twitched his hips up again. Frank sank down on his cock once more, resuming the pace he had kept before and Gerard’s hand tightened slightly in his hair.

“Close,” Gerard groaned and tugged on Frank’s hair slightly, but the man just kept going. “Frank.” He warned breathlessly. He was dangerously close to tipping over the edge and he didn’t wish for the man to get a mouthful. Frank’s tongue pressed a little firmer against the underside.

“Frankie, I’m gonna–” He couldn’t finish the sentence and bit his bottom lip hard as he spilled into Frank’s mouth. Frank’s grip on his thigh tightened and his eyes were shut tightly, but he stayed where he was – taking all Gerard had to give, and Gerard couldn’t help but admire his determination. 

He didn’t pull off until Gerard was utterly spent and breathing heavily. Gerard instantly pulled Frank up slightly to press a hard kiss onto his lips. “Silly man, you didn’t have to do that.” He whispered against Frank’s lips.

“I wanted to.” Frank told him before cupping his face and kissing him hard again – his tongue pushing past Gerard’s lips and Gerard tasted himself on Frank’s tongue.

A sharp knock on the door had Gerard pull back shocked. Charlie’s warning they’d passed the time limit. If Gerard didn’t get Frank out within two minutes, he’d be charged extra. 

“Time’s up.” Gerard told Frank with a half-hearted smile. Frank just pressed his lips back on Gerard’s. 

“I’m serious,” Gerard breathed in-between kisses, “they’ll charge you extra.” 

“Don’t care.” Frank just pressed another kiss onto Gerard’s lips. “I’m good for it.” 

Another sharp knock had Gerard pull away momentarily. “He’ll pay extra.” He called out to Charlie. That should be good enough. He pulled Frank back into another heated kiss – both men touching where they could and pushing hands through strands of hair. 

“Frank,” Gerard finally breathed and avoided Frank’s attempt at another kiss. “No, wait. You– you should go.”

“I don’t want to.” Frank pressed his lips against Gerard’s neck instead. “I have money.”

“Money’s not the problem.” Gerard told him, even though he wondered what Frank did for a living to be able to pay extra. “It’s– I’m breaking the rules.” 

“What rules?” Another kiss in his neck.

“We’re not supposed to–” He paused and Frank pulled back to look at him. “We’re not supposed to have sex with clients.” 

Frank’s eyes widened almost comically.

“If Charlie finds us like this– if Vito hears…” Gerard trailed off. 

“You’re not supposed to…” Frank trailed off too and Gerard bit his bottom lip while shaking his head. 

“So,” Frank paused. “I’m an exception?” 

Gerard nodded and Frank’s face softened. “Why?” He asked, cupping Gerard’s face. Gerard let out a soft laugh. 

“I can’t explain it.” He admitted. Frank just had something about him. Something Gerard couldn’t pinpoint, but it was enough to throw all caution to the wind and just kiss Frank senseless and wrap his hand around him and drop to his knees.

“So doing this is putting you in danger?” Frank added even softer, pulling Gerard from his train of thought. After looking into Frank’s eyes for a moment he nodded. Frank pressed another kiss on his lips before getting up and doing his pants up again.

“Then I’d better get going. Wouldn’t want you to get in trouble.” Frank said and Gerard searched for the sarcasm or malice, but it wasn’t there. “Thank you for a lovely time, doll.” He smiled a lopsided smile at Gerard and the latter’s heart skipped a beat. The smile transformed the man’s features into something even more handsome than usual. 

“You should get dressed.” Frank dropped down to one knee and pressed yet another kiss onto Gerard’s lips before moving to the coat rack to get his overcoat and hat. Gerard noted he no longer looked tired and that gave him the push he needed to get up and pull the tap pants on again before letting his dress drop down. 

“Don’t forget to pay Charlie.” Gerard told him, even though Charlie would be waiting near the exit for Frank anyway. 

“Sure thing.” Frank nodded and waited for Gerard to join him at the door. When Gerard was within reach, Frank grabbed his waist and he pressed his lips onto Gerard’s for one last kiss. “Take care, doll.” He told Gerard before pulling out a couple of folded bills – flipping two notes of twenty and a few of ten until he found a fiver. 

When Frank caught Gerard staring at the money he smiled the lopsided smile again. “Don’t ask.” It sounded light, but there was a clear warning behind the words, and so Gerard didn’t say anything – just fixed Frank’s collar and wiped the lipstick from his lips before letting him walk out of the room.

Gerard stood in the door opening for a moment – watching Frank hand Charlie the note and then walk down the narrow hallway. When he was out of sight, Gerard pushed away from the door post and walked to the shared bathroom to fix himself up once more.

  


**

  


He’d gone back to Elaine.

He tried to be mad at himself, but he couldn’t. The visit had really helped getting his mind off the week he’d had. 

A group of Colombo soldiers had acted on their own and tried to take control of a small-time gambling backroom that was in Luciano’s control. 

The Luciano’s fought back and in a panic, one of the Colombo’s had shot a Luciano soldier and Luciano had been out for blood. The families were supposed to work together – not steal from each other – and an example had to be set. 

Frank had been ordered out alongside a few other soldiers and their retaliation had been a little more violent than Frank was used to. He’d seen a lot in his short lifetime, but this– This was something he would never be able to erase from memory. 

He’d stood strong and aided where he could, but as soon as he’d gotten home, he’d fallen down on his knees at the toilet bowl and threw up until there was nothing left inside his stomach. Even then it had kept contracting painfully. 

When he finally was able to get up again, he’d reached for a bottle of whisky and drank his sorrows away. It wasn’t something a soldier should ever do. He got called in while blind-drunk and had gotten privileges revoked for several days. 

When he was able to get back to his usual lifestyle, he felt a little lost. He’d never stepped out of line before – which was the only reason they hadn’t given him harsher punishment – and it wasn’t a good feeling to know you’d lost your family’s full trust. He had to earn it back.

And so he worked even harder for his money – or well, the capo’s money – taking on more jobs and proving his place in the family. On Friday night he had collapsed on his couch – his knuckles hurting from punching a guy’s face repeatedly and his head full of gory, bloody scenes. He needed a distraction and he couldn’t go back to drinking – he’d be in deep shit if he did. 

And so, after drowning in his thoughts for way too long, he’d stepped out to take a walk and ended up on the doorstep of Elaine’s bar. He’d only considered it half a second before stepping in and nodding at the bartender as he made his way to the backroom. 

  


**

  


When Frank had given Charlie the extra money, he stepped into the bar for a cigarette and a drink – just one. He tipped the bartender well and watched the band play swing music to an almost empty bar. Anyone who didn’t know about the backroom would wonder how they could afford a band at all. 

Frank knew though. He knew all too well. He was hiding his grin behind his glass when movement caught his eye. A guy swept past and through the backroom door like he owned the place. Frank wondered if that was the truth – was he the bar’s owner? 

The band drew his attention again until the door opened once more and the same guy came strolling out. Frank frowned – he felt like he knew the guy, but he had no clue where he could’ve seen him before.

Maybe he’d seen him out on the streets. Maybe the man had been to one of their gambling nights. Frank didn’t know and the guy had gone already, so he couldn’t even get a better look at him. 

Downing the rest of his drink and pushing the cigarette in the ashtray, he nodded his goodnight to the bartender and headed home – feeling a lot better than before.

  


**

  


After that, Frank returned to Elaine every Friday night to unwind. Elaine would rub his back before pulling him into a kiss and they always ended up doing one thing or another to each other. Never all the way, though. Frank felt the small bed in the tiny room wasn’t good enough for such an act. Elaine never asked for more than Frank was willing to give, but he supposed that’s what he was paying for. 

After his sixth visit he had opened up a little – telling Elaine he was originally from Jersey, but moved to the city a couple of years ago. He never told her why, though. Elaine, in turn, told him she was from Jersey as well and had left behind her parents and younger brother in order to become who she really was.

She never had to explain to Frank what that meant exactly. He felt it in everything she did. Her dressing up wasn’t an act, wasn’t a kink. It was who she was inside and only in the city did she feel safe enough to let her inner beauty shine on the outside.

Frank never told her what he did for a living and Elaine never told him how she’d gotten into the business, but that was alright. They seemed to understand it wasn’t something they could share with the other. 

They talked about trivial things most of the time when they were cuddling after spending yet another night in each other’s hands and mouths. Frank was spending too much money and he needed to be more careful. 

He told Elaine so one Friday night when she had her head on his shoulder and he had his arms wrapped tightly around her. They hadn’t even touched each other that night. Frank had just kicked off his shoes and lain down – pulling Elaine in his arms and telling her he wanted to cuddle.

She hadn’t answered at first, but after a moment of silence she had given Frank her home address and told him to come visit her there instead. Frank’s heart had skipped a beat and they’d shared a passionate kiss. 

It turned out there wasn’t that much time they could spend together at Elaine’s. She worked every night and Frank during the day. And so it didn’t take long for Frank to unofficially move in with Elaine. He’d still go home in the morning, in case he got called in for a job, but the nights were spent in Elaine’s bed. 

She would come home in the middle of the night and spoon Frank – caressing his skin until he rolled over and let her hands do to him whatever they wanted. Even though he needed it, he didn’t actually complain about not getting enough sleep when it was because of Elaine’s hands and lips and tongue – and smell and smile and voice. Jesus, he’d turned into a sap. 

He smiled when the front door opening woke him from his sleep. The bed was cold and he couldn’t wait for Elaine to join him. Sure enough the bedroom door opened and Elaine was crawling onto the bed. He turned before she could spoon him and pulled her down into a kiss.

“I’ve missed you.” He breathed and pressed his lips against Elaine’s again. 

“Sap.” Elaine voiced Frank’s earlier thoughts and he couldn’t help but smile against her lips. 

“I’m serious.” He replied and groaned when her hand found its way to his crotch. 

“I’ve missed you too.” Elaine whispered against his lips and then all coherent thought left Frank when her hand started to move. He turned even more towards her, one hand pulling her hair softly, the other cupping her face as he kissed her passionately and groaned into her mouth. 

Even though it felt amazing, it wasn’t enough for Frank. Not tonight. He’d spend the afternoon thinking about Elaine and he’d come to a sudden realization. He loved her. And not just in an ‘I love that you’re here’ kind of way, but in an ‘I would leave the family for you’ kind of way. It scared him, but at the same time it brought him immense joy. 

“Elaine. El.” He breathed. “I need–”

“What is it Frankie?” Jesus that was her seductive voice – the one that got him hard at any given moment. Her thumb dragged over the head of his cock and he groaned and moved his hips, pushing himself into her hand. 

“I need– can I…?” He groaned again and wrapped his arms around Elaine, turning them so suddenly that she let out a surprised yelp as Frank dragged her onto his lap. He scooted upright and put his hands on her thighs before moving them upwards over her skin.

“Need to touch you.” He managed before dragging her back into the kiss. He kissed and nipped her lips hungrily while moving his hands under the dress and over the silk tap pants – dragging fingertips and nails over the hard flesh under the soft fabric. It was such a nice contrast. And he always loved the way Elaine’s breath hitched when he did that. If he did it long enough it would leave her a quivering mess – begging Frank for more pressure, more friction – but that wasn’t what he wanted right now. 

He took a firm grip instead and kissed his way down her neck while moving his hand. She groaned and melted into his arms, immediately thrusting up into his hand while her hands were gripping Frank’s hair tightly. 

“Frank.” She moaned and threw her head backwards when his fingers curled around one ass-cheek and he rested his fingers in the crease lightly. She pressed down onto his fingers instead of pushing up into his hand. She looked so amazing with that flush on her cheeks and chest. Frank leaned in to nibble on the skin of her neck again and she let out another moan.

“More. Need more.” She breathed into Frank’s ear. She pushed at the tap pants until Frank let go and allowed her to take them off. She didn’t remove any other clothing – just sat down on his lap again, pulling him back in for another heated kiss before leaning over to the nightstand to grab lube from one of the drawers. 

Frank eyed it for a second before fixing his gaze onto Elaine’s face again. “You sure?”

She nodded frantically and pulled him back in for a kiss. “I’m so fucking ready.” She breathed back and it was enough to spur him into action. He quickly coated his fingers in the slick stuff before reaching out and spreading it over puckered flesh. Elaine drew in a shaky breath and pressed back on his fingers as he started massaging softly. 

“I’m ready Frank, so, so ready.” Elaine breathed in his ear and she bit his earlobe, encouraging him to press in. “Jesus.” Elaine groaned in delight and pressed down on his fingers some more, so he kept moving them in until he couldn’t go any further. He pulled out slowly, then, before pressing in once more. 

“More.” Elaine was still pressing back. “Faster.” She corrected herself and Frank complied. “Flex.” She told him, so he did. Her back arched and her head flung backwards. He did it again – this time a guttural moan leaving her throat and the third time it sounded like a sob. 

“More, more…” She kept whispering in a way that had Frank believe she wasn’t even aware she was doing it. After a while the whispers died out and she opened her eyes – dark with lust. “Frankie– Frank, I need more. All of you– _please_.” 

“Sure?” He asked her again.

“Fuck, yes.” She let out a desperate moan, so he pulled out his fingers and reached for the lube again. She kept kissing his neck and biting his earlobe, making it harder on him to concentrate as he lubed himself up. 

When he was finally done he dragged Elaine down for a hard kiss as he pressed against the puckered flesh, wanting to enter her slowly, but she was done waiting. She sank down onto him in one swift movement and started moving immediately – stopping all his coherent thought again. 

All he could do was grab onto her hips – covered by the fabric of the dress she was still wearing – and moan and groan his way through extreme pleasure. It had been so long since he’d gone all the way with someone and he’d never gotten this far with a male body before. 

“Shit, El.” He groaned and her lips touched his softly. His hips started moving up in the same rhythm of her downwards thrusts. His orgasm was building steadily and by the looks of is, so was hers. He reached out and wrapped his fingers around hard flesh. The moan leaving Elaine’s throat was so obscene, he thought for a second it would push him over the edge. 

It didn’t, though, and he pushed his hips up again and again until El’s nails were digging into his shoulders and she let out another strangled moan just as she tightened around him and twitched in his hand – come hitting his chest and abdomen, and her face was so incredibly beautiful. 

Frank thrust up once, twice and threw his head back as his orgasm exploded through him. “I love you.” He moaned loudly before putting his forehead against El’s shoulder. “I love you. So much. I do.” 

Elaine just curled a hand under his chin and kissed him passionately for such a long time that Frank had softened inside her and sliding out was a little awkward. 

“Do you?” She asked when they were curled up around each other.

“I do. I really do.” He told her and pressed his lips in her neck. She turned in his arms and searched his face before pressing her lips hard on his. 

“I love you too.” She finally whispered against his lips and all he could do was kiss her senseless until they were both too tired to continue. They fell asleep like that – curled around each other and happier than they’d ever thought they would be. 

  


**

  


Frank was actually whistling when he arrived back at Elaine’s apartment the next evening. He couldn’t wait to see her again. He reached into his pocket to get the keys out and quickly unlocked the front door. He stepped in and froze – the bag of groceries dropping from his hands.

Elaine was home.

And so were Vinny and Lou. Vinny had El’s hair in a strong grip, pulling her head back while he held her arms on her back. There was a trail of blood running from her nose, over her beautiful lips and she was breathing heavily. 

“How kind of you to join us, Frankie. Close the door.” Lou told him – a small handgun pointed at him. Frank did as he was told. 

“Good boy. Come and sit down.” He said, waving his gun to the couch. 

“Let go of her.” Frank warned Vinny. 

“Tut, tut. You’re in no position to make demands, Frankie.” Lou shook his head sadly. “Sit down or I’ll make you sit down.” 

Frank eyed him for a moment before deciding Lou was a man of his word. He smiled at Frank when he obeyed. “Now listen close, Frankie. I’m only going to say this once. Do as you’re told and your pretty whore over here might even stay pretty.” 

“Don’t call her–”

“What did I say about demands?” Lou sneered and pressed his gun to Elaine’s temple – El was squirming in Vinny’s grip.

“Okay, okay.” Frank said quickly, holding his hands up. Lou slowly pointed the barrel at Frank again.

“Good. Now where was I?” Lou frowned. “Oh yes, your pretty whore.” 

Frank’s jaw clenched. Lou suddenly grinned and Frank’s heart dropped. He knew that grin.

“You know what? I suddenly have this great idea.” He grinned. Oh no, god no, please not–

“Come here, kitten.” Lou called over to El.

“No, Lou, please.” Frank couldn’t stop his begging. He knew what was coming next. 

“Begging already? Didn’t know you were so soft.” Lou told him. “But hey, what can you expect from a fucking faggot.” He grinned maliciously before calling Vinny over. “On your knees, hands behind your back, Frankie.” Lou told him, knowing damn well Frank was carrying his own gun, but couldn’t subtly reach for it if his hands were behind his back. Lou would notice the movement this way.

“Lou, please don’t. Take me back, do it slowly, I don’t care, but not this.” Frank was truly fucking begging.

“Knees!” Lou snarled and Frank barely contained the sob as he fell to his knees. Lou then looked over to Elaine and smiled at her. 

“I can see you’re confused, doll. Let me explain. Frankie here is a made man – a full member of Luciano’s family. That means he took a blood oath to protect the family and keep silent about our business, but those weren’t the only conditions. You see, in our family being a faggot is a serious offense.” Lou shook his head sadly. “And no matter how pretty you dress up, doll, you have a dick and that makes Frankie a filthy fucking faggot.” 

Elaine wisely kept her mouth shut as Lou spoke. 

“And that means Frankie went against the family. You know what we do to people who go against the family? Well, I’m sure you’ve heard stories.” He grinned maliciously again. “But he didn’t just go against the family once, no, he did it multiple times and since the boss told us to finish this any way we wanted,” He stroked El’s cheek.

“Don’t touch her.” Frank couldn’t help himself and earned himself a strike with the handle of the handgun. 

“Tsk, Frankie. You should know better than that.” Lou pursed his lips as Frank felt something warm drip down the side of his face – blood. 

“Anyway,” Lou turned back to Elaine. “I just figured out the best way. You might not agree, but I don’t really give a damn.” Lou smiled sweetly now. “You see, it’s actually a generous offer. I mean, I’m giving you a choice here.” 

“Lou…” Frank resorted to begging again.

“See, doll, you can choose. Either Frankie here puts a bullet between your eyes or you put one between his. Which one sounds better?” 

Elaine’s eyes widened in shock and for the first time since Frank had kneeled down their eyes locked.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He told her and earned himself another blow to the head. 

“Remember time’s ticking, kitten.” Lou stroked Elaine’s cheek with the barrel of the gun. “What will it be?” 

Elaine just stared down at Frank in shock and all he could do is apologize with his eyes. 

“I’ll even throw in a third option.” Lou said and drew Elaine’s attention again. “You both put a gun to the other’s forehead and pull the trigger on three. Who will be faster?” Lou’s grin was back. “Maybe you’ll be equally fast. Has happened before, you know.” He said thoughtfully.

“El.” Frank said and got her attention again. “Just close your eyes.” He told her softly – indicating he wanted her to shoot him. 

“My, my, Frankie! Never knew you were so cruel. You realize she’ll be traumatized for life, right?” He grinned before looking at Elaine again. “Are you sure you wouldn’t rather die yourself, sugar?” 

“They’ll kill me anyway.” Frankie told Elaine, knowing it was true. 

“Now don’t go and ruin the surprise, Frankie.” Lou’s expression soured. 

“Just let her go, Lou. Do with me what you want, but let her go. She’s got nothing to do with this.” 

“Oh, but that’s where you’re wrong, Frankie. _She_ ,” Lou spat, “Has _everything_ to do with this. Filthy perverted _freak_!” He snarled.

“Shut the _fuck_ up.” Frank snarled right back and moved slightly – Lou’s barrel against his forehead was cold. “Do it! Fucking shoot me!” He yelled at the man who was glaring down at him. 

“And where’s the fun in that?” Lou hissed. 

“I’ll fucking force your hand.” Frank told him, not actually willing to do so. He knew that if he moved again, Lou would pull the trigger. He’d have no other choice. 

“Come on! Do it!” Frank yelled again. 

The front door flew open and several detectives and officers holding handguns came bursting through the open doorway. Frank couldn’t help but blink in surprise at the men standing in Elaine’s living room.

“Drop your gun and put your hands up.” One of the men told them. “Let go of the girl.” 

Lou seemed to weigh his options for a moment before putting his gun down and kicking it over, his hands in the air. Vinny let go of Elaine and held up his hands as well. Elaine fell down onto her knees and Frank immediately crawled over.

“Stay where you are.” Someone ordered him, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t leave El there on her own, so he crossed the last distance and pulled her into his arms immediately. 

“Shh, I’ve got you.” He whispered into her ear when her body started shocking. She wasn’t crying, just shaking like crazy. He kissed her hair and rocked her back and forward as she clung to his shirt. Meanwhile, Lou and Vinny got patted down and arrested. 

There were still guns aimed at them and Frank made sure Lou and Vinny were gone before he spoke clearly, “I’m a made man in Lucky Luciano’s family. I have a gun in a shoulder holster. I am willing to give information and testify in exchange for protection for me and Elaine.” 

“I need you to let go of her in order to get the gun.” One detective spoke. Frank looked up and was surprised to see the bartender stand next to him in full detective suit, handgun pointed at him. 

“I’ll be right back, doll.” Frank told Elaine and kissed her forehead. “You’ll be okay?” 

She nodded even though she was still shaking and Frank let go of her. He put his hands behind his head before sitting up on his knees and allowing the detective to pat him down. His handgun was taken from him and he was cuffed.

“I’m sorry, but I have to arrest you. If you provide the right information in questioning, we can make a deal.” 

Frank nodded and let the detective drag him up. “Leave me with your officers. Take care of Elaine.” He asked the man. The man worked at the bar – he and Elaine must know each other. The detective nodded at him and handed him over to someone else before kneeling beside El. 

Frank wished he could hug and kiss her and tell her everything would be okay, but he was hauled away already and he wasn’t willing to resist his arrest – not with this much on the line. He was confident he had enough information to buy himself and El freedom and he wouldn’t waste this opportunity – not even to comfort her.

He did call “I love you” over his shoulder before he was out of earshot and he thought he heard her call back at him, but he didn’t know for sure. 

He didn’t resist when they put him in the car. He sat in the back quietly the whole way and he didn’t fuss when they pulled him out a little harder than necessary. He didn’t even complain when they put him in an interrogation room and left him to wait for over two hours. 

He accepted all of it, for El.

  


**

  


The bartender detective was the one to interrogate him. He introduced himself as Detective Dewees. Frank had given him the names of the Jersey faction capos and that was enough to strike a deal. After that Frank had told him everything he knew – which was quite a lot. Names, previous unrecorded offenses, future hits. They’d regret threatening Elaine.

Even though he was only a soldier, he had been climbing up steadily – earning more trust and therefore getting more information. He’d been well on his way to becoming a capo himself. 

After several hours of sitting on a hard chair and telling Dewees everything he knew, the man had returned the favor – explaining to Frank he had been undercover in the bar and even though they knew the sort of bordello was run by Luciano’s underboss Vito Genovese, they hadn’t been able to get sufficient evidence to arrest him and they had been waiting for more proof or an even bigger fish to swim long.

But then a call had come in. Elaine’s neighbors had heard a scream and stumbling, and they had called the police. Dewees had been available to take the call himself, so he had gathered several other detectives and officers and rushed over to the apartment. 

He told Frank he’d always had a soft spot for Elaine. After closing time she would come and smoke a cigarette with him – maybe have a drink – and they would talk. About trivial things, mostly, but Dewees and Elaine had developed a bond. 

And then Frank had stopped by and Elaine gradually stopped having those cigarettes and drinks. Dewees had asked her what had happened and she’d told him she had found someone else to take care of her. 

It warmed Frank’s heart to hear the story and he thanked the man for everything. 

Dewees told him he and Elaine would be moving to Portland, Oregon and he allowed them enough time to pack their things, even though they did have to make some haste. Word would’ve gotten out about the arrests and Luciano would send new people after Frank and Elaine. 

The only regret Frank had was that he couldn’t say goodbye to Tony and his parents. Tony had been his partner in crime – literally – and even though he’d left his parents behind for organized crime, he still loved them beyond words. 

Elaine was sad she wouldn’t be able to see her little brother anymore. Not that she saw him that much – her parents still forbade it even though they were both adults now – but the knowledge of not being able to still stung. 

But they would have each other and as they were sitting in the car provided by the police department, Frank couldn’t help but pull Elaine close to press a swift kiss to her temple. 

“I love you.” He told her and she settled her head down on his shoulder when he pulled his arm away to put his hand back on the steering wheel.

“I love you too, Frankie. With all my heart.” 

“Forever.” Frank whispered back as they drove off into the sunset. They’d be alright, as long as they had each other.

  


_~Fin~_

**Author's Note:**

> _Lots of love to my good friend S_C, who was reading this as I wrote it. Thank you for sharing my heartache, my joy, my laughter and tears. Thank you so much for cheering me on - for your praise, input and advice. You've been such a big help. Not just with this, but with all my writing so far, and with life in general._


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